So He Thinks He’s a Comedian

So he thinks that he’s a comedian

A real funny man, you see

When he looks me up and down

And says

What have you done to you’re body?

But that’s not even the punchline

When I,

Show a bit of sorrow

Pinch my belly and my thighs

Whispered a sorry

“I’ll start back on my diet tomorrow”

He sneers then smirks

How could I be so gullible?

He says

It’s just a joke....

But my heart almost broke...

He thinks he’s real hilarious

When he says I’m dumb

Because I’m blonde

Couldn’t possibly know

Real life woahs

“Oh but don’t get huffy baby,

I’m just putting you on”

And I’m not laughing

When he tells me that my legs

Could jiggle less,

Don’t wear that dress,

Get back in the kitchen,

Stop your bitching,

He’s just trying to impress his friends

He thinks that he’s a comedian

Get this one - ok?

He tells me if I won’t put out

Without a doubt

He’ll find another way to get laid

And I’m told I’m too dramatic

When I start to put up a fight

Because what’s the big deal

He’s not trying to hurt my feelings

he’s just kidding....right?

But you know what?

I’m real funny too

When I walk straight out that door

And tell him bye with a wink

And smiling eyes

I won’t put up with it anymore

And I’ve got jokes, you know

I giggle just thinking about it.

Get this...

When he calls and texts

“Baby I’m sorry, let’s fix this”

It cracks me up,

The abuse he thinks I’ll allow

Because I’m done, it’s over

And I’m not playing....

But guess who’s laughing now