So close... but yet, so far...

Can it be helped?...

Can I be helped?...

or, will I be left?...

fleeing from myself,

all my unwanted thoughts,

dangerous wishes and fatal wants‐

forever seeking escape...

from me‐

leaping from one "get away" to another,

all while I side-eye a certain "permanent" solution

to my "temporary" hardships.

I am only...

one single step away from standing on the side that opposes life itself‐

who stands alongside hope,

the foe that, to this day continues to lie to my face‐

The very same that is, to this day,

is waiting for me to walk off into a world from which I will not return

But...

It's not like this world is a place that has or knows any kind of peace...

or, maybe it's just me‐

but if that's the case, then...

will I be able to kill my own doubt and disbelief?...

or will it be the inverse of that statement that takes place‐

Am I too far?...

to go retrieve and bring home‐

to be met where I'm at and led back‐

to be worth saving or, even "savable" at all‐

Can this be helped?...

Can I be helped?...