SLEEP PARALYSIS

SLEEP PARALYSIS

I wish I could scream

But I am mute

However, I still see and hear

Terror overwhelms

I am aware that, save for my eyes

I cannot move

I am face down half off my pillow

My eyes strain

I am simultaneously aware of both the real

And a dreamlike world.

In this in between world there exists imminent danger

In the form of a large wolf

His enormous head is held lower than his shoulders

He advances toward me

His eyes pierce the darkness

With a glow that is alarmingly demonic

I begin running a serpentine pattern

In hopes of escape by evasion

I grow tired

My legs become heavy

I am in slow motion

The wolf looms ever closer

Suddenly, from a tall tree swoops a large Barn Owl

The owl is certainly no match for the giant wolf

But the bird keeps a steady rain of attacks

Screeching loudly coming closer with each pass

The wolf is distracted by the bothersome owl

Allowing me time to catch my breath

This owl is familiar to me

We crossed paths in late Spring during a nature walk

I came upon an Owlet struggling on the forest floor

The small fledgling had become entangled

In a layer of long pine needles

And could not fly

I scooped him up and removed most of the needles

From between the feathers of his tiny wings

Overhead, the piercing screech of mother owl filled the air

I opened my hand, and the owlet flew

To the lower branch of a small sapling

The Owl swooped toward the owlet

Screeching commands to fly away

And together they disappeared into the deep woods

Presently, the owl returned

She began to circle me

But this time she made a soft hooting sound akin to a purr

She was not at all menacing

I felt she came back to thank me

Then she flew back into the woods

I returned to my struggle

The paralytic state is not new to me

Over the years I have devised a technique

To release my frozen body from suppression

In order to escape my prison

I must act within a long pause between breaths

It is difficult to control breathing while fear controls

The bed sheet is wet from my profuse perspiration

I struggle to maintain mental control

Panic is the enemy

Thankfully I home in on the tic tock of my bedside clock

I concentrate on the TIC-TOCK, TIC-TOCK, TIC-TOCK

It becomes extremely loud

I focus on the steady rhythmic sound

I match my breathing to this controlled sound

Soon I begin to regain control of my body

I can feel my fingers moving

Choosing the next simultaneous tic tock and breath

I push myself to a sitting position

The salty taste of my sweat brings me back to reality

The wolf fades

Afraid to lie once more in my bed

I move to the rocking chair in my room

I fight sleep but finally succumb

I awake next morning with a stiff neck and vivid memories

I am free of the immobility for now

I know also that the paralytical state and the wolf will return

I just don’t know when

I pray that the owl will again come to my aid