Sitting with the Static

The absence of noise...but still noise

Flickering white and black,

it's 2 a.m.

The house is dark, everyone lay sleeping,

but I'm awake.

The television flickers with static.

A chair creaks in the corner of the room,

just the springs.

It will be dawn soon.

I sit alone, in the dark.

My thoughts roll, flicker, and buzz.

It's 2:30 in the morning,

my mind full of black and white fuzz.

Static, white noise, background.

That feeling of weight and pressure in your mind,

driving your thoughts away from you,

leaving you staring off, blind.

Meditation, trance, spacing out.

Your mind takes a break in the static.

Mind full, thoughts empty.

Your mind finds its rhythm...no longer erratic.

I couldn't appreciate this feeling, the blankness,

until life became too full, too harsh,

too much.

Now this feeling, it feels like rest.

I'm tired.

It's 3 a.m.

My skin prickles, cold and uneasy.

The static continues, unbothered.

I'm always awake in these hours.

The house is dark, I am alone.

I want to rest.

My thoughts need the rest more.

It's 4 a.m.

The television continues to flicker and buzz.

The house creaks and groans, like it's stretching for the day.

I'm tired, I need to rest, it will be light soon.

The absence of noise...but still noise.

Flickering white and black.

The heavy mental press that makes my thoughts fall away.

The house is dark, everyone lay sleeping,

but I'm awake, sitting with the static.