"Silence is freeing"

I've been told that I need to speak up more times than I can count. I've heard that being silent is not an option, communicate to get what you need. But, why?

I speak and the words drift away, floating on a phantom breeze.

I raise my voice to be heard over the chaos, only to be ignored as if I'm not standing right in front of their face.

Screaming is useless. It's only met with aggression and defensiveness. I guess my needs are offensive.

No, I won't speak. I resort to the teachings of my childhood. "You speak when you are spoken to." Even then it feels pointless. My side of the conversation is one-sided, the wall of your views shield you from my cries.

My responses to you are always "I don't know", but I do. You'd never know my real thoughts or opinions on anything because I can't trust you with my mind.

Everyone always thinks it's the heart you have to protect the most. Be careful with the fragile heart, once broken the shards are sharp. They cut deep and are slow to heal. But what of the mind? It's strong like glass, it can handle everything until it can't and once shattered there is no fixing it. It can be replaced but never mended. Once broken, the mind is lost.

There are some who are willing to listen, who can hear the strain in your voice, the slight change in octave, the tremor when you're worried or afraid. Mostly, though, people want to hear what they have to say and know you hear them.

My voice caged me, imprisoned me amongst the screams of others fighting to be heard. My voice held your attention, kept your eyes on me long enough for you to find the flaws you created. But when I was quiet, I could slip away. I found solace within myself. When I stopped speaking, that rope around my throat loosened, I could breathe again. That cage disappeared. You disappeared.

Silence isn't a killer. Silence doesn't mean death. Sometimes, silence is freedom.