Silas

My baby emerged through a winter storm, the iced over rain crying sharp, sparkled daggers that threatened our warmth.

Love emerged with him, as I grazed his pink-flushed cheeks that felt like velvet beneath my fingertips.

Oh, how I wanted him, how loved he was as he greeted me gently with quizzical gazes.

We would barely have time to become acquainted.

My baby was fated for something much greater than what I could give or what I could pay for.

I placed him into the arms of another. Another, another, who he would call mother.

Mother. My title? No, now it is hers. Grow up, baby girl, you knew what you asked for.

I made her every dream come true while I ripped out my heart for my baby boy blue.

My pain emerged through every bright day, the sunlight would fade as my heart ran astray to find the piece that I gave away.

Storms emerged with me, as I banished the sky for being so happy when I could not fly to the home that would hold my baby beloved...I turned the gold rays to harsh shades of no color.

Oh, how I wanted him, how loved he is as I stare at the void between my hands.

But oh, what I did? I saved him, I did.

My baby deserved everything I could give, and I had the power in the black ink pen.

I signed on the line, probably ten or more times, as the worker reminded me, “This ends your rights.”

I knew exactly what each page was for as I focused my gaze on the blue patterned floor.

I gave him potential for any dream told, and I gleamed at the treasure of my baby boy gold.

Now he has aged and glows more radiant with the strength and love of having such vast family tree branches growing in every direction, with him as the sun watching all of us grow.

He did that, I did that, we did that together.

But just like that, any golden day changes from bright, shining sun to gloom, doom, and raining.

I cannot escape my journey through weathers that viciously clash and can’t be together.

But I can survive in the glistening glory of knowing my heart can keep telling this story.

For I’d rather feel pain and live it each day than knowing my baby boy gold turned to gray.