Shower Talk

Dial turned all the way to cold,

Any other day, I would have felt so bold.

The most extreme temperature would do,

With what options I had; they were few.

Naked as an infant born, I sat on the tile,

Hugging my knees; rocking, like a hurt child.

Tiny beads of water formed a shower spray,

Spray that for hours would wash my tears away.

Lame attempts to feel something; anything at all,

As I looked around; up, I felt so small.

Trying to remember; to recall,

How did I get here; how did I this far fall?

Feelings of abandonment and shame,

Disgust and dismay of my very own name.

Humiliated, dehumanized, stripped of pride,

In this prison with nowhere to hide.

I always thought I had reached my max,

Max weight of the struggles I could handle and grasp.

How foolish of me to have set myself up,

For to stumble blindly, painfully does interrupt.

Numb; disconnected; and overwhelmed,

Nothing to hold onto besides my knees, I held.

Thoughts filled my mind as I sat in dismay,

From top of my game to naked and afraid.

I then realized how quickly life can change,

A blink of an eye is all that it takes.

There’s always a trap door to our rock bottom,

Never a set number to hit our maximum.

Right when you think your path is set,

Around the corner comes the greatest upset.

When that moment of fear and overwhelm shred,

Shred your life of all that you had.

Just use your memory to take you back,

To every time life gave you a smack.

Put those moments on playback,

Watch your life’s history for feedback.