Shitting Pop Tarts

i'm so excited

i could literally

shit pop tarts

between warm wet farts

and leaky wet starts

kmart pyjama arts

a favourite of housebound tarts

but i'm so smitten

about the mint

about a kitten

i'm literally shittin

inside this mitten

i have riddled its innards with faeces

and now

i'm gonna sell it on eBay

i'm gonna sell it on gumtree

i'm gonna sell it in the trading post

i'm gonna fuckin sell it look and fuckin see

i'll get a milk crate and turn it upside down

(i’m gonna sell it)

i'll make a sign with a texta and a bit of card

i'll sell it soft i'll sell it hard

i will wave my sign i will sell sell sell

i will sell

i will fucking sell it

that shitty mitten

they will regale my shitty tail

my shitty cuffs and also my shitty sleeves

there will be many shitty lies told and stole

by an especially stupid band of shitty thieves

i will proceed

to make

a smegging fortune

in minty mitt shit

then i will decide

the percentage of the split

but guarantee just one thing

it will be fair it will be true

my shitty empire will be lauded

and talked of for all time in the long halls

it might be shit

but there will be a bit

for anyone

who really needs it