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Shards of a Wintry Heart

An Icy Shield of Protection

By Danielle Elizabeth AndrewsPublished 2 years ago 4 min read
3

Photo by Eric Lumsden via Flickr. Used under Creative Commons license.

. . .

Untold days have passed since my heart has truly pulsed and beat.

For a heart frozen in time cannot thrive.

How does one exist without all her pieces intact?

Impossible.

. . .

Freezing the remaining pieces, guarding them with all that I have.

They lay in shards of sapphire,

Brittle, bruised, blue.

I preserved them before my last shred of hope was torn away.

Now they glisten, beating ever so slowly from beneath their icy enclosure,

Desolate and unused.

. . .

The terror I experience prevents them from coming too close to the surface.

Hidden beneath an impenetrable cage of icicles.

Forged of tears once shed, frozen upon impact.

Though my heart cries out, I enforce its silence.

There's an icy steeliness that I've had to erect.

. . .

The smile upon my face is no longer reflected in my eyes.

It's not possible with all the frozen tears inside.

They watch in fear, waiting for a break,

a crack in my armor.

Yet it never comes.

. . .

Do they see my frozen heart?

Glacial. Immobilized.

Do they know the trauma they've inflicted?

On the good days, the pain numbs.

A barrier between the cold within and the frigid world beyond.

. . .

My frosty armor is all that keeps me upright.

Knees threatening to buckle,

Icily locked into position.

Somehow I carry on.

Adorned in this frozen suit of armor.

. . .

On the bad days, the recollection of the sun's warmth is almost too much to bear.

Do they realize how they've stolen the sunshine from the entire universe?

Or maybe just mine.

. . .

Did they see the world go dark?

Is every day plunged into the color of night?

Am I the only one who feels your absence so devastatingly?

How much was exchanged in order to pretend their deeds were right?

. . .

The icicles glisten as new tears fall.

Memories of springtime breezes,

Summer sun happily embracing us,

Our love spread a shimmering rainbow overhead on the dreariest of days,

And held a radiant star-filled sky aloft to see us through the darkest of nights.

. . .

Everything felt possible.

We would succeed in every goal set forth.

We carried the determination to harness every dream.

Not yet bound within these glacial restraints placed upon our souls.

Not yet plunged into darkness.

. . .

In those days, I carried such a Pollyanna disposition.

My belief that good could always be found if only one would look.

I clung to my hope with the most fervent of need,

Long determined that there'd never be any knight riding up upon his steed.

. . .

Never wanting to be a princess in need of rescue,

I fancied the notion of Queendom,

Overcoming all the negatives thrust into my path.

An endeavor far more industrious than those of the past.

. . .

Our future was awash in the brilliant light of possibility,

When you entered the world, you became my center.

There was no goal without first considering its benefit to you.

. . .

The luminescence within you shone on even the darkest of days.

Possessing such light, was the gift you'd been blessed with since you entered this world.

Everything felt new and impossibly possible,

If only we could forge ahead.

You were my guiding light.

My own North Star.

. . .

I saw the world through your eyes,

And wanted to ensure its worthiness.

It never was.

It never will be.

Although still, I tried.

. . .

My soul recalls the days when my heart was whole, shining so brightly.

Flowering with buds of hope and joy,

Exploding in the contentedness of a bright future ahead.

Sprawling vines bloomed in abundance.

Each blossom, a tangible manifestation of a dream for our future.

Photo by Dustin Humes via Unsplash.

But now, there are no blossoms and blooms.

Every wish upon dandelion fluff remains preserved like unfallen grains in the hourglass of a life yet to be.

Unused and waiting.

I yearn for the moment when we're no longer frozen,

No longer simultaneously suspended in time.

Yet we continue, unknowingly towards...

What?

Will we ever receive our answers?

. . .

I ache to see the light return to your eyes,

To the world.

For the thawing of springtime to arrive,

To feel my heart beat in realtime,

Rather than suspended for another eon.

. . .

Will that day ever come?

Or am I destined to watch helplessly as my heart becomes irreparably frostbitten?

As the glacial cold from within spreads throughout,

I fear I will never feel the warmth of the sunshine again.

The fog of breath before me seems an impending harbinger...

Will the thaw ever come?

. . .

This poem was originally published on Medium.

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heartbreak
3

About the Creator

Danielle Elizabeth Andrews

An avid reader who also loves writing about all sorts of things (Life, love, family, books, poetry, the world around us).

Follow me on: Twitter and Medium

Reader insights

Nice work

Very well written. Keep up the good work!

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  1. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  2. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

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    Well-structured & engaging content

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    Original narrative & well developed characters

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