Selfish

i found myself staring at you

without the anger

without the pain

i was

embalmed by you

your presence,

grounding me

but it wasn't there

the same love and nerves

the ones that would

have me so caught up in you

dazed in the maze i would create

the endless routes to my heart

are now blocked

from your obstruction

it wouldn't have hurt this much

if i didn't love you so.

the ink spills on my desk

letters destroyed,

from a world

that i made, with you

the countless words written

the unattainable feelings captive under you

they were nothing in a room,

with a pretty girl and whiskey.