Searching

Fate follows me, questioning my every move, making me second guess my thoughts and desires trying to comprehend what is real and what is fake.

Is this just a phase?

Is this just bazar mind game with in my own head?

I walk through a shadowy cloud of dismay trying to find my path but my candle has burnt out and my lungs no longer have the capacity to scream for help.

All I can do is wonder aimlessly.

Maybe I will find a travel companion.

Maybe I will continue to advance on my own.

All i know is that I am scared of the failure that could await me, but my desperation of acceptance and warmth is what drives me to such great lengths.

I continue to flounder in my cocoon of a life hoping that I can break free.

Hoping that I can absorb the positive and betray the negative, but that is so hard when I am made of nothing but negative.

So hard to comprehend anything but the place in my mind that I’ve always been.

I continue to search and wonder praying I don’t get lost, for if I do who will look for me?

Who will even know where to look? or even realize I’m missing?