Scar Tissue

I am covered in Scar Tissue on the inside

it surrounds my heart like the paper you put in Christmas Bags to protect presents

whenever I step outside I am very self aware and wonder if everyone can see, truly see how broken I am

the masks we wear to try to fit in or look ok or normal are exhausting

when all you want to do is scream that this is wrong, it surely is not right

this thing, this thing that happened, happened to me

did it happen to you too?

when you hit fifty all of that just doesn't matter anymore and you rip off your tight mask just to breath

and you start to love yourself and patch up the pieces

at least that's my experience, maybe I waited to long

or suffered too long

or swam in my anguish as if that were all there is to this life

my parents left me when I was 11

swimming in my anguish I couldn't smile

Cause id drown, drown from all of this

my parents left me when I was 11

I'm loving myself now

and slowly breathing

my daughter plays music on her record player, I yell please play that song again, what was that?

Subway By Chapel Roan

whatever it is I love it I yell to her, she slides the needle back and the initial notes begin to play causing my soul to stir and be happy

did it happen to you too?