Saying goodbye
Dealing with the pain of suicide
I don't know how to say goodbye.
You didn't give me that opportunity.
A cousin is a best friend, your first friend actually.
You were always the oldest out of us all, and I'm next in line.
Now you've given me the spot, I didn't want.
I don't want to pass your age, I don't know why but it fills me with rage.
Remember us playing as kids, we were so free, and happy.
How does someone get past losing their first friend, when they chose to leave this world.
I want to scream, I want to cry... I'm not ready to say goodbye.
Remember being cheeky kids and in so much trouble from toddlers, to teens. Always up to mischief
I'm sorry I didn't know your pain, and that you felt you couldn't continue in this world because your soul hurt to much.
The guilt and pain it burdens me just the same, it's buried so deep inside. I don't know when I can breath again.
Scattering your ashes next month, on your birthday, it puts the knife a little deeper inside of my chest.
You are meant to be here, my cousin, not have taken your last breath.
About the Creator
Jessica Joyce
Always happy for constructive criticism and advice. Please comment what you think :)
I'm new to writing and am enjoying the journey.
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