Sabotage

I break myself in two

somehow convinced I will always lose

my heart

afraid of the dark

for so long the light in her

lived apart,

separated,

more than jaded,

how can you convince

a made up mind,

to leave behind

the fantasy it plays with

alongside the demons,

every night.

If it's a war,

I'm unarmed.

How do I have all these battle scars?

My brain's the one doing the harm.

They say

medicate,

or meditate,

and exercise can free the mind

they don't consider that

maybe I

was born

allergic to the light.