Rooted in Rye

My roots are deep

in black Baltic soil

and over time

they've spread out wide.

My roots are sisters

with the ones on the pines

that my childhood home

is surrounded by.

The earthy smell

of pine forest and moss

is the scent that I follow

whenever I’m lost.

That fragrance,

whether I’m near or far away,

is my trail of breadcrumbs,

leading the way.

The taste of home

is black rye bread

topped with spiced Baltic sprat

and boiled egg spread.

It’s potatoes

in every imaginable way—

boiled and baked and roasted, you name it.

It’s sauerkraut soup

and kefir with kama.

It’s homemade strawberry wine after sauna.

My roots are in a language

where öö is a word

ulata õlu üle Ülo õe õla

is a sentence and not absurd.

Kuuuurija isn’t a typo,

caused by a stuck u-key,

jäääär too is correct

and grammatically neat.

When I tell you you’re kena,

you will either be happy or deeply offended

we’re either in a fight or have now befriended.

My roots are in sand,

curled around stones

in a small patch of land

I proudly call home.

It’s a place that’s unique

and often weird to explain

and whenever I’ve gone

to stretch my branches

it’s never too long

before longing glances.

My heart pulls me back,

the soul demands its querencia.

It's where bread is black,

it's my tiny homeland Estonia.

___________________________

Author's notes:

1. The very specific sandwich that I describe in the poem – black rye bread topped with spiced Baltic sprat and boiled egg spread – is something you will most likely be offered if you come to Estonia. It's almost a must on every dinner table on our Independence Day.

2. Yup, we love our potatoes and sauerkraut.

3. Kama is traditionally a drink, but can also be turned into a dessert. It's another thing that you will probably taste if you ever visit Estonia. And it is very likely to be given as a gift, should someone from Estonia visit you. Kama flour is a mix of wheat, rye, pea, and barley flours which is then mixed with sour milk, kefir, or yogurt, and some sugar or honey.

4. While sauna is very much Estonian thing, strawberry wine is more my family thing.

5. 'öö' means 'night' in Estonian

6. 'Ulata õlu üle Ülo õe õla' is Estonian tongue twister. It requires a very specific situation for someone to use it naturally, but it really is a clear, logical and grammatically correct sentence.

7. 'Kuuuurija' means 'moon explorer' and 'jäääär' means 'the edge of the ice'. Both of them are words that consist of two words, but in order for them to have the meanings they have here, the grammar rules require them to be written as one. Writing them as two words slightly changes the meaning.

8. 'Kena' literally translates to 'nice', 'kind' or 'pretty', but in one part of Estonia, if said with a bit of attitude and a slightly different intonation, it can also mean 'stupid' or 'idiot'.

9. Querencia (clearly not Estonian) – a place where one feels safe, where we know who we are. I found this word just this morning in an article "Rare and Ridiculous Words You May Not Know" by Calvin London. As soon as I read it, I knew I had to use it because I feel like it ties my poem together perfectly.