Righteous Anger

I fear I no longer act in kindness because it is kind or because I am

I fear I am now acting in kindness out of anger

For what else should I feel seeing a mother and child sitting on the street begging for money

Should I feel pity? No, for pity feels condescending and they are human and do not deserve condescension but respect

Should I feel proud of myself? No, for that is self-serving and I do not help these people for self-serving reasons

So I am left with anger

Sitting in a Cathedral, in the presence of the deity I put my faith in, and I ask why. I ask how should I work to change this and questioned whether its my deity's fault for not helping that mother and child

I thought about this for some time while the bishop spoke his homily and my anger landed on others

Anger that we live in a society that is fine with cheering on the building of a gilded ballroom while that child's next meal may not come for some time

Anger at people cheering that that same ballroom is being "self-funded" as if that's some saintly thing to praise when that same money could have gone to easing the suffering of others.

Anger at others who, while either living or visiting one of the most expensive places in the world, don't stop and spare a dollar or a coin for these people who have so much lesser.

The questioning of my deity subsided, for it is not His job to reach His hand out and fix everyone's problems

That would rob the ability of others to be the good in someone's life.

So yes, I fear that I am not helping people out of spite.

As some solitary "fuck you" to the indifference of the rest of the world and those that reside in it.

And whether or not you think my motivation is a good thing, at least I'm acting, can you say the same for yourself?