"right"

The silence that followed me here leaks into every pore of my being. Magnifying like tiny particles that grew wings and decided they want to be more then a spec of dust. How was I to know that today would be eerie after the noise in my dream that tried to make things clear in the most symbolic of ways. Was it clear enough to pass the message from subconscious to conscious?

I was just trying to fit into a circle that had straight edges instead of curves… but then I saw a place where edges did not exist. I wanted to follow, but I felt the need to defend my decision. So, instead, I ran, jumping over the fence my sweater caught, and I looked back at the laughter before I tried going off to chase what did not want to be caught. Where do I go from here, while you’re already long gone?

The echo of a cat sits by a crate, its long tail swooshes back and forth, every so often whapping the ground with a soft thud. Creature of the night, black as the lightless sky, just sits, observing, watching. And I am too hustled to appreciate the presence of something so majestic, why? Do I fear looking into the eyes of the dead that I know surround me, so I just pretend that they are not there like a person who cannot see past the veil. I bet you did not know I could see past your mask.

I could step into vastness at anytime, but I feel there is still a lesson to learn here, in this space, with sharp edges that graze skin just enough to draw blood. Maybe I am afraid there will be nothing to learn on the other side of the line… why does it have to be a line? I know the steps, but I say they are too big because I am tired.

Is tired just an excuse to ward off responsibility? Life drains from my face, and television fuzz encroaches my vision. Not quite long enough to make me fall… where would I fall to? I want to say I wish, but wishing is for those who believe in luck and I have never met a leprechaun that was not clever. So instead, I will say… well now I forget the follow up. Why am I like this?

A well, that is the answer, bricks stacked in a circle just tall enough. Where a bucket used to hang is just a rope now… a noose, some might say. If I went down there, would someone pull me up, would someone follow? It is dark and hollow, is this where I want to be? Now there are more questions than answers…

As much as I would like to answer all your questions, I cannot. A simple statement that may get a rouse out of you, maybe it is frustration. I can only answer my questions, and you, yours. For if you are only asking with one right answer, I will get it wrong… on purpose. Queue activation of the trickster in me.

I am not trying to deceive you, I just want you to know, that even if my answers were “right,” it would still be wrong because it is not from you.