Restlessness

The fluorescent lights hum lowly--

Not enough for ears to pick up,

But enough to faintly make skin crawl.

The itch beneath my business casual blouse

Is the reckless urge to abandon

Another eight hours of "circling back" to emails

And "taking this offline" when attempting to "move the needle."

No need to reinvent the wheel, just get the project done.

As if reinventing the wheel doesn't sound

So much more divine.

My desk chair creaks and I catch myself swaying

In an attempt to keep myself awake.

I click a tab that's stuck, loading, on a black screen

Forcing my reflection to become visible.

Past the glare of the stagnant mirror image

I try to catch the eye of the girl I was at ten.

She had the world ahead of her,

She could do anything she wanted

With oceans of time.

She wouldn't want to see that,

This far along in the road,

She works in an office 40 hours a week

Under moldy air and toxic management

Doing a lulling job

Instead of being.

Every evening, I press submit into the void,

Attaching my resume in every job portal,

Waiting for a chime or a sign.

The inbox stays clear,

And the quiet bounces back.

Static is the sound

Of everything happening

All

At

Once.

It never unfolds,

Doesn't waver,

And remains persistent.

You can stop and stare

Or reach your hand into the noise

Sift for a sign,

And hope that the dead air

Finally starts making sense.