respect is earned.

Respect is earned. I thought I had earned your’s, no?

That’s funny.

Because I don’t see any respect being given.

I have the right to know what is going on, what is the truth.

Are you still with her?

Then tell me.

Don’t be scared.

Only be scared when I find out the truth and it hasn’t come from you.

I don’t care if you are or not. I care when I am kept in the dark.

I cannot wait around. If I am in the dark, that is all I can do.

I don’t know where I’m going if its dark.

I feel like that’s all I have been doing recently.

Waiting around.

Though, I am weirdly comfortable like this. Constantly keeping my emotional self on reserve for you. It’s the first sense of consistent stability I have experienced for a while. I have been holding out and away from every other partner that comes my way out of fear that the second I let someone else into my heart, you will be at its door. Even though I don’t know where your head is at, I finally know where mine is. It is set and so is my heart – they are once again aligned.

I know this comfort is not okay, and in the near future it will have to change.

It is not healthy, or in the slightest bit plausible.

For this reason, you need to tell me what is happening – please, turn a light on.

I am scared. Scared that you will find another love, similar to our’s but no where near as deep, because you have forgotten how strong our love is. How wonderful we are together. It has been time since we were together for more than a night, I need you to remember. Before we expire.

Remember the hours we would spend, countries away. We would stay up until dawn, talking about every subject known to man. Debating, teaching, exploring our own opinions. We would spend nights until mornings, away from our parents, our friends, our siblings. Away from the world, just us. In all its innocence, I saw what we could be – what you could offer me. I know you saw it too. I need you to see it again. I need you to remember.

What if you find that love, settle, and leave me in the dust?

I can’t.

I can’t even fathom.

It’s too painful.

I need to move on.

Soon.

Not now.

But eventually.

No more yo-yo. No more back and forth. Cut the cord or tie the knot.

Give me the respect I have earned.

Give me the respect I know I deserve.