Red Flags

It's easy to say what we're good at.

Almost impossible to accept what we're not.

I'm really good at remembering things

that everyone else seems to have forgot.

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Forgot? Or just ignored?

I'm bad at letting go.

Usually, people don't say stuff like this

but I'm not afraid for people to know.

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I'm not afraid of sharing anything.

I will never use fear as an excuse.

My heart and mind fight every day

while I'm told "There was no abuse."

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I've been hurt in ways you won't acknowledge.

I have scars that can never be touched.

My red flag to you is that I'm no longer quiet...

you accuse me of being too much.

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Do you want me to keep them all hidden?

No one remembers, so it must not be true...

"Get it all out, so it never comes up.

Just tell me how awful I was to you."

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"Why didn't you tell me sooner? "

"If it was a problem, address it then!"

"I've said that I'm sorry, what more do you want?"

"I can't help I have poor taste in men."

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The problem is that when I've spoken...

you've never really heard what I said.

I cried, and I cut, and I bled it all out...

but apparently... it was all in my head?

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Why are my experiences minimized?

"Your home life wasn't so bad."

"You had what you needed. I kept us afloat."

Is it normal to always be sad?

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Are the scars on my body a sign of love?

A sign of being safe in a home?

Is it normal to feel like I'm better off

being completely alone?

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So yes, I still remember it all.

I'm afraid I'll always keep

the memory of those powerful words

that made me cry myself to sleep.

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Trust me, I wish I could forget...

It's not pleasant in my head.

The memories you seem to have...

don't ever align with what I've said.

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I guess that makes me crazy...

and you're the one who's right.

That's seemingly the goal for you

in every single fight.

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My red flag is I'm too honest.

I'll say it with my whole damn chest.

Call me the bad guy and twist up my words

and I'll still wish you the best.

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Somehow explaining the damage

seems to make you think I'm unkind.

Sometimes I think my red flag to you

is that I had the power to wash out my mind.

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People forget I was sober.

They forget I was clear in my head.

I wonder if anything would have changed

if they knew where their choices had led.

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You told me to get it all out...

you never want to hear it again.

I hope this is all that you wanted.

I hope this will make it all end.

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At the end of the day, we all have red flags.

I wear mine displayed on my chest.

My red flag is that I'll never forget...

my green flag is that you're addressed.

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In fact, I'm always working...

I won't keep it in anymore.

I'm using my voice in all of the ways

and becoming someone I adore.

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I wish you'd believe when I tell you,

but I'm honestly tired from trying.

because when I say what I have been through

I guess you feel better pretending I'm lying.

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