Red Angels

Everyone has their demons...

Angels of guidance leading the way

All the while dragging me through hell

By way of my own stubbornness and conviction.

But the more I look for heaven

The more I find hell on me.

I don't get it.

Does this light have to be so bright?

I'm already flawed enough

Without you showing me

How flawed I really am.

I cleaned up again,

My prayers like water,

My good deeds the soap,

My self encouragement a washcloth

And there's that damn light again,

Showing me

Yet another sullied part of me

That I was never told not to miss

Kissing goodbye and hope

Of this nightmare being over.

When is it over?

When will it end!?

When will I finally

Be in the limelight

Where I can find friends

Like me

That hear me

See me

Know me

Want me

Share my ups and downs

Instead of these sounds

Like a reverse echo

Haunting me every dream.

I could SCREAM at all the times

These mirages of sound

Called me

Beckoned me

While I stayed barred from my future...

Me.

Just me.

Only me. Alone.

I can change my world.

And I know I'm ready.

But I'm blocked by my inner demons.