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Reckoning

started as a stream of consciousness poem

By Tina D. LopezPublished 7 months ago Updated 7 months ago 1 min read
Reckoning
Photo by Rob Griffin on Unsplash

So angry it rattles my teeth

So hurt it turns me into a monster

every time I remember your smile—

that wide, practiced lie

You were talking

no—poisoning me

behind my back

casually

coolly

like it was nothing

like I was nothing

words chosen to rot me

while you looked into my eyes

called me friend,

said “I love you”

God you were good at it

Like a card trick

no—worse—

like a rigged game

only you knew we were playing

And now

there’s something wrong in me

something feral,

savage,

something that doesn’t want calm

doesn’t want closure

It wants blood—

gore—

guts—

vengeance—

reckoning.

I want the truth to spill

where you think you’re safest—

in your conversations with friends

on your carefully built version of yourself

in your private thoughts.

I want your lies bleeding—

bleeding on everyone

so no one can touch you

without getting stained

I want every room you enter to get colder, quieter

Every handshake to hesitate

Everyone to know your good guy story is fiction

I want your peace loud with doubt,

your sleep disturbed by nightmares of my pain,

your name to cause people to vomit in their mouths

before they can trust you

I want the man you pretend to be

crushed

suffocating

under the weight of what you did,

the mask slipping

no—falling

your second face cracking on the floor

Everyone should know

that you lie without blinking

that you use affection like a knife

that you break people

that you broke me

I know how I look

I do—

crazy

unstable

unhinged

yes

unhinged!

But this—

this is what happens

when someone carves betrayal into you

and expects silence

expects you to bleed politely

This is bloodlust

not to kill—

to expose

to maim

to make sure the damage

is not mine alone

Mental HealthFree VerseStream of Consciousnessheartbreaksad poetry

About the Creator

Tina D. Lopez

Finally realizing I need to start acting like the main character in my own life. Writing helps me figure out where I keep losing the plot and giving away my spotlight. My story is a big mix of drama, comedy, tragedy, thriller, and, horror.

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    Written by Tina D. Lopez