Rebirth

i carry my feelings like burdens

they cut into my shoulders

pushing down crushingly

with the weight of mountains

to try and sink me

unease, in the mind

like a storm inside my stomach

whipping around all i’ve known

fear, in the heart

nauseating and potent

scraping at the walls of me

dread, in the soul

silent and unmoving

the shadow of a killer in the night

armed and ready to strike

still, i persist

i carry them, day in

and day out

boulders of my life, do as you will

sink me into this ground all you can—

if you can

for i will take everything with me

all the way down

until i can destroy it all

to begin again

powerful and beautiful

basking in rebirth from the rubble

—

This was the song I was listening to when writing this. I’m a huge fan of Ethel—shameless link below of an album analysis I had a lot of fun writing—and her new song is incredible. I was so lucky to hear it live in June in NYC at her concert.

I’m not sure how greatly it relates to the poem—not much—but it’s so gorgeously atmospheric, and the theme of feeling or being punished is something I think we all carry, whether through guilt or shame or self-resentment. We are all punished by something, and we carry those things with us where we go. But we need these painful things, whether in the form of people or of memories, to become better and stronger people. And we shouldn’t want to be anyone else but ourselves—that’s the feeling I strive to have.

Thank you so much to everyone for reading!