Raw Secret

You ask me why I’m so insecure

And I just smile.

For a moment,

I remember that you believe in me.

You believe in me

In a way I can never believe in myself.

You believe in me in the same way

Little kids believe in

Santa Claus and Peter Pan and

I don’t have the heart to tell you

That their commercialized success

Is to soften the blow of reality.

So even when you’re being pummeled to pieces,

When people are pulling off strips of your skin

To expose the secrets buried in your spine,

It still feels like you’ve got a friend.

The world isn’t as warm as you’d like it to be,

And not even Santa Claus can

Give you enough presents to fill the holes

Inside of you aching for human connection.

You ask me why I’m so insecure

And I just laugh.

For a moment,

I remember that you’re completely oblivious

To the entire beauty industry screaming at me.

Promising ways

To lose ten pounds fast!

Have voluptuous eyelashes!

Impress my man…

Be skinny,

But have the curves of a goddess.

Be smart,

But don’t ever share your opinion because

What self-respecting man wants to listen to a

Woman anyways?

Lose weight… Lose weight… Lose weight…

As if my size has anything to do with my personality,

As if the definition of beauty stops at the size of my hips

Cookie-cutter women constantly looking to magazines for things to fix

So the word beautiful doesn’t accidentally tumble

From our lips…

You ask me why I’m so insecure,

And I just frown.

For a moment,

I realize that you don’t understand

We women are fire

Most destructive to ourselves.

Burning,

Burning away until

We

Are

Nothing.

Dead,

Long before we reach our graves…

When I don’t have any substance left,

When the best parts of me have burned,

Maybe I’ll finally be worth something!

You ask me why I’m so insecure,

And I say nothing.

For a moment,

I realize that you don’t understand

I was taught to be this way,

Taught to be ashamed of my body,

Taught to wallow in insecurity

As if it’s a part of my D.N.A.

You ask me why I’m so insecure…

And I have nothing left to say.