R A W

Moons out again

Sleeps my enemy

Not my friend

Left to my imagination

Without a weapon

Any protection

Darkness thick like molasses

A heavy, wet blanket

Was it always like this?

A distant memory

Tells me different

Maybe those whispers are lies

I'm too good with listen

Was she always like this?

How can I miss her

When it's like she never existed

And still doesn't

Oxygen in my palm

Close my fist to grasp whats left

Was there substance to begin with?

Or is my head lying again?

Was I always like this?

I don't know what this is

Whatever it is

I'm feeling too much of it

I'd cry for help but its useless

I've always been on the outside

Looking in, they wouldn't understand

I should close my eyes once in a while

Maybe that'll help a little bit

Was i always like this

This rollercoaster ride gets exhausting

I never bought a ticket, I was born here

Too fast then too slow and I can't keep up

It's a blessing and a curse to feel everything

Maybe I'd be powerful if I could control it

I'm a storm thats forces

Self sabotage everything

A short fuse-

No one to fix it

No tools to fix it

I was always like this

So I'm stuck.

Running endlessly in place,

Talking to the walls

Responding anyway

But now I'm telling you too

as I sit here

doing this

raw

written may 5, 2019

yours truly.