purgatory

You wake up with your head

pillowed on something wet and cold

Your nose scrunches

uncomfortable

Your eyes feel like heavy lead,

and they valiantly try to flutter open

You're unsure of how long it takes you

to open your eyes

When you do,

the world around you is dream-like and hazy

Soft, yellow light in the distance

bobbing up, down, and up again

A lantern, your mind supplies groggily

still half asleep and wary

You peel yourself off the-

forest ground?

Now that you look around,

you realize you're surrounded by tall, lush pines

The smell hits you first

petrichor and half rotted leaves

It was your favorite scent-

was? is.

Is your favorite scent

your skin prickles in animal fear

The lantern wielder is close now

but you can't make out any distinct features

He- She- They are wearing

a cloak over their face

Leather gloves that squeak against

the silence you're now registering

Where are the crickets?

you think to yourself

Where is the sun?

you deliriously ask yourself

Even with no sun evident,

the sky you see peeking is mottled

It almost looks like a bruise,

you realize faintly

Blues, and pinks, and deep purples

so beautiful it makes your chest ache

The crunching leaves stop

and you can't help but feel like prey

This stranger comes to a halt

at your sodden, pititful self

They extend a hand,

and still you can't make out flesh

You take the hand anyway

and make a surprised noise as you're lifted

It was October, you remember distantly

samhain, to be exact

The strangers touch is ice cold

but feverishly, you think you're colder

They tug you along, lantern bobbing

up, down, side to side

The yellow and red leaves are crunchier here

where your body didn't crush them

You think about apologizing

but then think about your life before

Always spent apologizing,

never letting yourself take up space

You stop and stumble as the stranger keeps going

doesn't look back at your scared face

Because you realize now,

where you are

Why it is eerily silent

with nary a rustle

You remember-

an accident?

Water, freezing water,

so cold and biting

You shiver in half remembered memory

tugging weakly at the firm grip

You stumble after it

resigned to your fate