PUBLIC SERVICE NOTICE REGARDING MATERNITY PATIENTS

ATTENTION:

THIS IS THE LAST NOTICE OF PUBLIC SERVICE REGARDING ALL MATERNITY PATIENTS!

INSTRUCTIONS WILL FOLLOW!

THIS IS CRUCIAL INFORMATION REGARDING EXECUTIVE ORDER: BAM (BABIES-And-mothers)

Correctly referred to by followers as:

BIG

BEAUTIFUL

BABY

BILL

FOR

BABIES

AND

BABY

MAKING

WOMEN

WHILE BREATHING (optional)

INSTRUCTIONS:

Please leave your body at the door.

Await further instructions.

A man will attend to you at his earliest convenience.

If a man does not attend to you, you are inconvenient.

Please labor quietly.

If you have questions, please swallow them.

ID’s must be left with the man who brought you into the clinic. If a man did not bring you into the clinic, please visit the desk so that one can be assigned to you.

If you need help translating these instructions, please press the red button. This will alert agents who will help you labor peacefully until appropriate relocation can begin.

We believe all children are miracles. Please ensure you have signed your rights over to the Father before you begin postpartum care.

Babies will be fingerprinted and registered for civic duty.

Any baby found in contempt of court will be terminated.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.

(founding)

Father

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