Psychological Ramblings

somebody said they liked my hair today.

the snow was falling and i was seeking refuge

in a winter blanket.

all these people seem so put-together,

working with purpose,

strutting with the kind of self-assuredness i can only dream of.

i enjoy becoming invisible

in overwhelming crowds

sometimes i wish the walls would open up and pull me inside

and i don't want to die.

hey, mom! i left my house and i survived! aren't you proud?

somebody with beautiful cerulean eyes looked at me and i

fell in love

faster than i fall asleep.

the moon was gleaming and i was getting high again

to ponder upon the meaning of life.

in this city

i have not a friend to speak of

so i speak to the shadows on my floor instead

and i scribble frantically

the writings of the hermit.

hey, mom! i spoke to a human being and i didn't cry! aren't you proud?

when i was a little girl i dreamt of fame and being loved

by everybody. now that i am grown i only want

to be loved by myself.

the pitter patter of the rain was thumping and i was

waking in a frenzied rush and

trying to gather my wits again.

i dream in bursts of uncontrolled feeling

sometimes they seem so real i could swear i

didn't dream them at all.

i read books i've lived a thousand lives.

hey, everyone! i'm pretending to be like you! aren't i doing a good job?

somebody laughed at a joke i told.

wherever i go i am wandering without a purpose

or a clue

trying to determine whether i fit in or stand out.

nobody really fits in anywhere

but i am comfortable living in solitude.

my six year old told me

he loves me

so i must be doing something right.

i told a joke and everybody laughed.

somebody said they liked my hair today.

the snow was falling and i was a paradox