Probably You Will Never Know

Feels like a diuturnity since we saw eye to eye.

Lying awake at night wishing I could soar to the sky.

Born with money but still feel broke,

Day has come but I have not awoke.

Hurt more by words and silence than sticks and stones,

Poisoned by the sight of my own flesh and bones.

Probably you will never know, I dream to hide my fears.

Probably you will never know I’m ill yet not ashamed.

Probably you will never know I am empowered by my struggles.

Underneath the heavens, whether it be dark clouds or blue skies,

I feel so close to the truth yet so far away.

Glancing out a window onto the busy street.

See couples embracing as my heart skips a beat.

Wondering why I am standing still,

As though I have so much time to kill.

See my reflection in the mirror but not my identity,

Envious of the birds who can fly so free.

Probably you will never know, I’m timid yet starved for attention.

Probably you will never know I live a double life.

Probably you will never know, I’ve branched out but kept you close.

Below the oncoming storm, above the mountains as far as the eye can see,

I’ve almost discovered myself but am too scared to show you who I am.

Most people can’t understand the way I feel,

But my emotions are so strong and real.

Most people can’t trust what they can’t explain,

But in the end the truth is all that remains.

When hardship falls all I can do is hold on,

Sail against adversity but keep myself strong.

Because over my head and shoulders,

Below the galaxy beyond I’m uncovering the inevitable destiny,

While it will have to wait and be hidden.

Probably you will never know, what I long for most in life.

Probably you will never know I held on even when I almost let up.

Probably you will never know, I’m a different person than the one you see.

Across the fields, beyond the sea,

You probably will never know

What I’m meant to be.