Post-Breakup

“there is a time

after every heartbreak

that the songs cause your heart to ache

just listen to them.

i’m at the stage

that i can hear them

that i want to hear them

it makes me sad

but not in an angry sort of way

just in an understanding

reflective

sort of way

do i miss you?

or do i miss what we had?

who knows

perhaps i miss what we didn’t have

which is a more extensive list i’ll admit

that never mattered to me

because it was more than i’d ever had before

i was grateful

yet

i took it for granted

i was young

i did not realize

that love was never meant to last

especially

when it is only felt one way

maybe i’ve watched cinderella too many times but i always thought

my first love

would be my last.

cinderella never told me

not every boy is a prince

if he finds your shoe

he won’t chase after you

he’s probably throwing it away as we speak

that why fairytales can be so toxic

they give you hope

hope is said to breed eternal misery

and it took a year of butterflies

for me to believe it

i am so tired

the insects may be at rest

but my mind plays the memories on repeat

even though i feel sick to the stomach every time i picture us

sometimes i wonder what you’re up to

how you’re doing

and most importantly

if there’s somebody else you’re telling these things to

i wish i knew

not to steal you from them

just to warn them

that it won’t last.

i wish somebody

had done the same

for me.”