Porcelain

“I'm afraid of friendships,” I say,

They either leave you or torture you unknowingly.

I'm an in-joke to my friends,

They think I don't hear the awful things

They say about me.

I pretend I don't notice,

Pretend the weight of their words isn’t pressing against my ribs.

Their laughter spills over broken glass,

Cutting deep, yet they don’t see the blood.

I laugh when they do,

Let them shape me into their target,

A small little thing—so easy to break,

So easy to forget.

I stay because leaving is a different kind of loneliness,

But maybe loneliness is better than being loved like this.

~sahasra