Poison Love (I'm Worth More)

A man once laid hands on me, a loving embrace,

But then the next time this wasn't the case,

That same man laid hands on me, a once warm embrace,

But this time his hands meant a punch in the face,

This was the first time, but wasn't the last,

The violence that once was love, accelerated fast,

More and more often I'd do something wrong,

More and more often I'd write a new song,

About how love comes hand in hand with pain,

And how this was normal, I wasn't insane,

For keeping him near and holding him dear,

Even though his presence came hand in hand with fear,

He never liked it when I went out with friends,

They were a bad influence, my mind he would bend,

At night sometimes we'd cuddle till sleep,

Then he'd inject me, this goes so deep,

If I was addicted, I couldn't leave,

Though I had no intention, because in him, I believed,

I believed he was sorry, I believed he would change,

I believed in the small times of happiness that came,

The kisses here, the cuddles there,

The words of kindness before he grabbed my hair,

The gifts of apology because he was sorry,

Really he loved me, it was always sorry sorry sorry,

Then the day came that violence turned to rape,

All because I'd come home too late,

But this was my fault right? He has the right,

But no matter my reasoning it just didn't feel right,

But I still didn't go, I still didn't leave him,

I suppose my fear of loneliness was even greater than my fear of him,

Things went back to normal, a beating every few days,

Yes I said normal, it was for me anyway,

A gun to my head, a knife to my face,

But never any mention of what happened the other day,

Things went on like this for a few months,

Until finally, I found someone I could trust,

He treated me kindly, he was gentle with me,

And memories of a distant, past love came to me,

I finally realised, I'm better than this,

My life IS worth something, to someone it is,

All this time I felt I was worth nought,

Then suddenly someone cares, and for my life he fought,

A shock to the system, my mind's been misplaced,

Someone CAN love me without a punch in the face,

I don't need to put up with being battered and bruised,

Other people don't, why should I lose!

I didn't go back to pack up my things,

I didn't go back so he could talk me into "sorting things,"

I just sent a text, my final goodbye,

To a man I still loved, but to a life where I'd die,

If I stayed any longer, he would have killed me,

That isn't real love, that's just fucked up to me.