Poems for my late father

While I had you :

To Eric Sr.

You showed me the world,

from the Beatles in Liverpool

To Seinfeld in New York

And to beautiful Barcelona,

Watching your favorite team.

All from our basement

That felt like a plane.

What was once yours became mine.

Inheritance of deep value,

The journeys and destinations

Forever in my safe.

Your maps and compass

could never replace you

but they’ll do

Eric Sr.

From all the magnets we've collected

I'm sorry I didn't thank you.

Before you left.

I'd give it all up.

For one more trip.

Just to Let You Know :

Your brain died five years before they set you on fire

Mumbles are the new language,

You recognize me but do you remember my name?

Sometimes hugging, sometimes yelling,

I know you love me even if you don't.

Felt the oldest bond,

Since I was your first

I know you homie

Attached to sounds and visuals of nostalgia.

The only memories of a dilapidated mind

Characters and melodies of your youth,

Created mine.

I hope they helped

During your rough times.

Now:

Regret haunts me,

nostalgia protects me

But my armor is suffocating me.

Drowning in regret.

Everything reminds me of you.

It's like you're haunting me.

Causing the hurt.

Five stages

Lasting a lifetime.

Sobbing in my sleep

The perfect way

To get this emotion

Out.

I'm still mad.

I didn't see

Your final moments.

I know you wanted

To see me.

But I couldn't

Bare to see you.

In that state.

I just wanted to say:

I’m driving Oscar’s car

I learned stick

About to graduate

College this time.

Thanks for naming me

Eric too.

Now I can carry you

Everywhere.

Grief Haiku:

I miss you a lot

Been aching for years, so hurt.

Can't cope with dope