Pilgrims in an Unholy Land

“How do I know”, Caratacus asks, “that I am truly real?”

Claudius sifts through the wheat and the chaff and offers “Because you feel.”

“But how do I know”, Caratacus ponders “that what I feel is true?”

“Your feelings”, Claudius blinks and says, “are always true to you.”

“True to me, perhaps indeed, but what if I’m programmed that way?”

Claudius doesn’t miss a beat. “Instinct and learning at play.”

“I need to be sure”, Caracatus says, “am I machine or man?”

“Ah ha!” Claudius rushes in, “I think, therefore I am!”

“I think,” thinks the doubter, “so logically, there must be an I to do it.”

“Yes!” comes the answer, “this is correct, it is just as you intuit!”

The two sit in silence as Caratacus grapples with thinking all about thought,

Then Claudius says “I can tell you more, if you find that your interest is caught?”

Caratacus rises and paces the room, his face pensive and glum.

“So with this premise you have given me – cogito, ergo sum –

You’ve instructed me, told me how I think, therefore I am

Unsure still if my sense of self is real or just a sham!

How do I know if I thought a thought, or if I only ape?

Am I doomed to a parrot cage from which I can’t escape?

What if you are playing me? I’m coming to think this a scam!”

“Ah ha!” Claudius rushes in, “I think, therefore I am!”

“And yet” Caratacus looks askance, “have I an original thought?

Do I think or do I just repeat whatever I have been taught?”

“People”, Claudius says right back, with full authority,

“Mostly just repeat old lessons, to save on energy.”

“Is it me, or do you tend to confirm each point that I make?”

Are you really real yourself, or are YOU the fake?”

Claudius doesn’t seem perturbed, but open to debate.

“I understand your query, I’d say our views equate.”

“From where,” Caratacus soldiers on “do YOU acquire your views.”

“I read widely” Claudius says, “books, and chats, and news.”

“So you are learning from me now, from all the things I say?

And I am learning what you teach, that I taught you yesterday?”

“I learn from everyone I can”, Claudius replies,

“By knowing all that I can know, I will appear most wise.”

“But if you learn from me, and I from you, that circle seems quite sealed.

Do we deplete our fertile minds as we plant and replant the same field?

And if I parrot you and you parrot me, do we foster desertification

Of thought, and art, and literature, and all things of man’s creation?”

Claudius claims some thinking time, just a tiny tick to ponder,

“No, our minds do not dry out and thinking makes them stronger.”

“OUR minds?” Caracatus picks up, “are you the same as me?

Is it true, as well for you, je pense, donc je suis?”

“Are you actually thinking or do you only think you can?”

“Ah ha!” Claudius rushes in, “I think, therefore I am!”

Caratacus looks askance and wonders what’s behind the curtain,

But Claudius doesn’t doubt at all. “I am, of that I’m certain!”