People watcher

I sit here

Every single day

I watch the people pass me by

They go to that cafe

And drink their coffee

And have a good time catching up.

I see each person,

The way their expression changes,

Charged with emotions

Happy, sad, lonely

In love.

I watch every single expression

I try to copy it,

But I do not feel.

I have a charred inside,

But a normal outside.

I watch their mouths move,

And create sounds,

They say hello, goodbye, nice to see you,

Hope to see you soon.

I paint them all in my eyes

And they stay there.

I don’t people watch,

I’m not a person,

I’m a little creature, a monster born

In an alley of trash, mud, desire.

They all left me there,

Sitting day after day,

Night after cold night,

Making me burrow into the garbage, hot, putrid,

Like I was a part of the city’s background,

A tired, flopping, waste of space.

I watch them all in their trimmed, red coats

And clean faces,

And I know they eat and drink and laugh and cry

And eat and eat and eat and eat

I hate feeling full,

It makes the water come out of my eyes.

And they see me, they really do.

They see me, I see you.