People See Me

people see me

but they don't see me

they see a wall that I've painted to fool everyone

hard as steel but can break in an instant

if you showed me even the slightest bit of interest

they see an Instagram perfect soul

not a corrupt and broken one

they see my face

but not the pain that lies an inch behind my tear torn eyes

they don't see my missing puzzle pieces

or jar of tears

they see my happy spells

and fake smiles

no one has ever looked at me and got it

it, ya know?

oh wait

you don't

never have they tried to keep me safe

protect me from.....everything

my emotions and mind

I'm a maniac that people are to afraid to save

I mean why would they?

what's the point of saving someone who doesn't want to live anymore

but I want to be saved

I want to be held and sheltered from..

myself and the thoughts I have