Penny For Your Thoughts?
Existential Nonsense
Penny for your thoughts?
“I’m thinking about nothing”
you can’t be thinking about nothing
“well I am”
When you’re thinking about nothing
are you actually just
thinking about thinking
and
how meta that shit is
or
are you just
thinking about nothing worth mentioning
are you
thinking about life
which sometimes just feels like
nothing
if you wanna get deep about it
which I don’t
are you
thinking about all the lives
you could be leading
and do those lives
think about you
when they’re
thinking about nothing
Lives that begin
the second
you
make a choice
the choice to tell a lie
the choice to leave a lie
the choice to live in one
for continuity’s sake
The unlead life that lives
in a place where
you never said goodbye to her
you never drove away
the life that lives in a space
where you became static
Or maybe a life
that exists because
you sat at a different table on the first day
smiled at a different stranger
wore a pair of shoes that didn’t cause you to trip down the stairs
that life probably feels better than you do right now
Did you create another life
just now
by agreeing to try broccoli
by agreeing that it’s pretty good
did you change it all
what do those lives think about you
the one where
you didn’t
try to pretend to be someone you’re not
the one
where you never
cut your hair short in the 9th grade
the one
where no one taught you
that you were dangerous
the one
where no one told you
it doesn’t take a monster
to do monstrous things
unspeakable things
where is the life
where you jumped
who are you
without that one scar
from that one time
where you had to prove to yourself
that you were not
immortal
are you ashamed
of your life
do you wish you were in the one
where he never texted you back
do you wish you lived the life
where the sound of pills rattling in a plastic bottle
didn’t make you salivate like a fallacious sadist
where hospital were only for broken bones and tonsillitis
which life is the one where you made all the right choices
does that one even exist
i mean it has to right
because of string theory
or some shit
saying that there is an anti you
doing the opposite of everything you did
I wish I knew them instead of you
do you think you lived the wrong life
because I do
every time
I’m thinking about nothing
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