Past The Blue

Past The Blue

look up and you may see me.

venture deeper than you ever have--

you’ll find me there.

i am every shade from sky to midnight.

i am blue.

...

i learned how to swim at age three

-in and out of the water-

with no other place to be.

the current was easy

the current was me.

...

and when on land,

blue was still all i knew.

cerulean crayon in hand

as i climb my favorite tree.

...

and as i grew,

being blue brought more water--

this time coming from my eyes,

streaming down my cheeks, off my chin

puddling on my navy backpack

...

and the worst part is

that i didn’t know why.

blue.

being blue is everything you could imagine

and nothing at the same time.

being blue is fleeting and tumultuous;

overwhelming

...

With high’s too high

And low’s too low

it was to my demise that i was blue

so,

one day when the waves were particularly rough,

i decided to look deeper at the current around me.

to my surprise,

i realized that i’m not the current for the current is ever-changing.

...

i am not the current because i am still.

it was on this day that the water i used to swim in

moved from master to friend,

and i moved from blue to something more stable--

Ochre.

...

Ochre full of life

Ochre full of stillness

Ochre on the days when i used to drown-

I’m apart from the waves now,

not quite yellow

not quite brown.

...

I still swim as i did when i was three

-in and out of the water-

but now i have places to be.

the current is not so easy

the current is not me

...

and for you my sweet blue,

this is good news

because it’s not your fault that when I was you,

I drowned.

all you know how to do is blue

rich relationships and heavy emotions--

undercurrent pinning you down.

...

Ochre is not quite yellow

and not quite brown.

It is past the blue,

in the stillness

at which i am found

________

find me: @realrickysanchez