Paper Thoughts

I.

I live in fear of paper

Any scrap I find

I write of pain that is mine

Then I face it in black lines

One at a time

My own enemy is mine.

II.

I throw away paper--

When I write on it bleeds.

III.

So many lines

So many times

Too many tears

Too many fears

Bite them--

Chew them all up

And swallow them;

Then never see them again,

Except when they flow

From my pen

Hoping never to see them again.

IV.

I try to live my life without fear

But no matter what I may appear--

That image is false.

These thoughts--

Showing like mirrors

Eat me like an impulse.

V.

No matter how sick I feel

From smoke and drink

It does not stop my curse to think.

2018