Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder

[Verse 1]

Now I have me a story,

And I'm going to tell it to you,

It's about the testicles on my chest,

I call thing-one and thing-two,

They're really nice to stare at

And could put you in a tizzy

There's no diving into these

Not headfirst at least,

And if you do, prepare to view

Some things you never thought

Would cop a feel better than you,

[Pre-Chorus]

You think it's fun and games,

Those sexy lacy hold 'em up thangs,

But there are things in there you don't know-

[Chorus]

Loose change that shouldn't make her jingle,

A stick of chap that's already melted,

The keys to your house

And a pack of smokes,

That's what you get for not giving

Women, pockets in their pantyhose

Now that over-the-shoulder boulder holds more

Than just those jugs you adore

It's a collection bin for what her hands

Couldn't hold,

[Verse 2]

I'll tell you 'bout the day someone

Asked for some change

I said, "Sure, hun, give me a sec."

They thought I was going to head over to my car,

But instead, I reached down into my bra-

Those coins came out wet and shiny,

But who're they to complain

When they don't have a dime,

I dropped them in their hands

And silently went, "Eww."

But they took the change and that dollar too,

Fighting back on their gag reflex,

[Pre-Chorus]

You think it's fun and games,

Those sexy lacy hold 'em up thangs,

But there are things in there you don't know-

[Chorus]

Loose change that shouldn't make her jingle,

A stick of chap that is already melting,

The keys to your house

And a pack of smokes,

That's what you get for not giving

Women, pockets in their pantyhose

Now that over-the-shoulder boulder holds more

Than just those jugs you adore

It's a collection bin for what her hands

Couldn't hold,

[Bridge]

I'll never understand,

Why can't we get some pockets,

It would make things so much simpler

Then reaching for some slippery change

That makes me not feel okay,

Sweat covered the coins, and the dollar too,

If they can get to a gas station,

For a "Coke."

Then they can be the joke,

[Outro]

You think it's fun and games,

Those sexy lacy hold 'em up thangs,

But there are things in there you don't know-