Our Morning Routine

We part at dawn and reunite at dusk

You used to complain about my night shifts;

Once I reduced your cruel aunt to a husk

You understood my strange, nocturnal gifts

For most men, when they slip out after dark

Betray and humiliate their poor wives

But you know that, once my teeth find the mark

Those who annoy you most will lose their lives

My drinking problem has become your means

Of thinning the herd of those you dislike

No longer do they make scandalous scenes

Now, to the tomb, I lead them on a hike

You discovered my thirst's utility

Your social assassin, I'm pleased to be