Opening Up
I was inspired by a conversation with my step mom today. I never share these thoughts I write stanza by stanza that shows my soul to my family or anyone. I’m very reserved when it comes to them. Maybe it’s time to change that?
Never have I admitted I hold onto one skeleton that remains in my closet.
The memory of my past is planted its seed so deep into my core that the roots keep its anchored grasp on me; suffocating me.
The pain of a biological parent that abandoned me left a void in me I will never be able to fill.
It has haunted me for the last 29 years and it’s lonely only having that ghost to keep me company.
I want to open up, I do
But when I reach out my hand to show who I am, it pulls me back behind the door, locking me in.
I don’t choose to be so guarded, it’s a safety mechanism.
“If you put up your walls and push the away, you’ll be safe.” It says to me.
I project my pain on those who get close.
It’s not like I mean to.
I never wanted to.
It’s the only thought that won’t abandon me and I wish it would.
Maybe one day, I’ll let those who love me in and finally see who i have grown to be, even behind this veil that unwarrantedly shelters me.
About the Creator
K F
just your friendly neighborhood lesbian with so much words to articulate from the folds of her mind into heart felt stanzas.
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By Lana V Lynx6 days ago in Geeks
Comments (3)
Seriously, it's almost unsettling how much of your writing resonates so strongly 🩷 that idea of being guarded actually being a safety mechanism for us, so many people just don't get it and it's really hard to undo all that guard work.
Wow You express your feeling so well that it's so relatable. Great Work!
It’s so hard sometimes, that one skeleton in the closest is practically a part of the woodwork. But time does help, chipping away at bits. But also I learned that you don’t have to let everything out to one person per se. You can scatter those wood chips.