on this date

i want to write – i’ve been somewhere – inside – looking around at events – images – seeing with somewhat clear eyes – all that has hurt me – situations, people – but every now and then remembering to allow myself to feel the good in those people – how negative experiences have their purpose – to learn, something new about myself. How did i respond to it – did i give up too much of me? What is enough? What to keep back and how maybe we serve each other as giver and taker. The musical journey i took to those inner places – was timeless. At times scary, often serene – i don’t know where i’ve been but it felt far and deep away. The music was PRIMAL, sensuous, peaceful, happy, exotic and often mystical. i did not know what they were saying but it was beautiful. i think i remember dancing in my head. Sometimes it made me feel like i was being reborn and once or twice i think it makes sense to say – i recall when i was born. i arrived in this place and now i am here. Writing lines that aren’t too cerebral but seem to capture what i experienced. Lost loves, recent disappointment, thinking more about one person than i thought i would.

Certain people came to me and made me unhappy and afraid – they looked dark and felt like they were evil – But evil is not the right word – They are lost too in their own way – we are clashing in style and actions. [It] never occurred to me that the neighbours would hear my music and did [they] care to know what was going on – i had been on the sand dunes, in Morocco, near a sea somewhere. Looking around the small area where i lay down seems so huge.