On the Day of My Funeral

On the day of my funeral

I will watch the sun rise from high up in the hills,

Where golden rays shaft between peaks,

And hint at rooftops in the valleys.

Below, everyone lays in drowsy dread of the day,

And I alone am bathed in light.

After, I will walk along the beach,

Feeling cool saltwater break against my ankles

Then tug at the grains beneath my toes

So that I am an ocean dweller,

At peace with the ebb and the flow.

Every dog will come to greet me,

And I will ruffle their hair and both of us will be richer,

And the people, walking the dogs, will not need to say hello.

Perhaps I shall swim,

Staying under long enough to twist and turn and somersault,

To pursue the fish that flash and glimmer,

Myself a shimmer in the oscillating light.

At eleven, there will be a gathering,

At which it will be my prerogative,

To say the things, to the people

To whom I have wanted to say the things,

And no one will answer back or bear a grudge as a result.

I will find there is less to say than I imagined.

In the cleared air, there will be cake,

And yes, I know, chocolate makes my head ache,

Butter churns my gut,

But I will take the biggest slice and not fear tomorrow.

I will dance, yes, like no one is watching,

Cut loose and sing along with wild abandon,

However ghastly. However inappropriate.

I will leave appropriate to those who still worry about these things,

While I wrap my arms around the warmth

Of those who have made me tender, and strong,

And saddest of all.

Afterwards, knowing that letting go cannot happen all at once,

I will go out to the theatre,

Take up the best seat in the house

Whether or not it is already occupied.

When the dancers leap like mountain lions,

I will rise from my seat and fly about the stage alongside,

Magnificent. Beautiful. Rapturous. Free.

And as the curtain closes, I will see only their faces,

Those who have made me soft, and fierce

And gladdest of all,

And I will know that I was loved,

And that I loved,

And that I have left love in the soil of this world.