On Hold

I'm on hold, I think.

I don't know what else to call it.

It seems as though I'm waiting for something.

I'm not sure exactly what it is but it's clear that it hasn't reached me yet.

Then I stop and think, oh shit, perhaps it has.

Perhaps I've missed it.

So busy looking back and beyond never paying much mind to what is around me presently.

No, I shake off the ridiculous notion.

I'm definitely still waiting.

You can almost feel it in the air.

Taking each day for exactly what it is-a day.

Not wanting more.

No desire to amplify myself.

No desire to achieve or accomplish much of anything worth mentioning.

So I guess I'm just waiting.

I hope when it happens I recognize it.

That would suck I think.

To wait for something that's big enough to put me hold and when it finally happens I don't even realize it.

Yes, that would definitely suck.

I remind myself to pay attention.

But it's so easy to become distracted in a world of nothing just sitting around waiting for something.

I'm afraid that it's relying on me.

Like there's something I should be doing to bring it out of the shadows.

Shine light on what's been lurking.

Cause I feel it hanging around, teasing me.

Almost poking fun at me,

Daring me.

So I'm just waiting I guess.

I'm prepared for when it does show up.

I've got my tennis shoes all laced up, my jacket and keys are by the door.

Then I'll know for sure I'll have a head start.

Until then I'll keep my eyes open cause I'm not sure what it will look like.

And I'll keep my mind clear of all distractions.

I can feel it coming for sure and it's gonna be a big one and so I'm waiting.