Oh My Dear

Dear Deity,

(Or whoever you are)

Was it always supposed to be like this? Was this the grand design that I was destined to be a part of? If so, man, I might need a refund. I guess I should have read the fine print before signing my life away, come what may.

I guess that I expected this to feel like one of your many stories. You say"YES" and suddenly, there is abundance. Everything works out better than you could have hoped, and the story of redemption would be added to the pantheon of other heroes in your fold. I was to be a star in your sky, shining brightly for all to see your wild and amazing changes.

And yet, here I am, hands full of broken dreams, shattered hearts, and ash. I stand here with almost all of my hopes deferred, and none of those dreams coming true. So where did I go wrong? I would love some insight. I guess that would be the only thing I ask of you at this point. I've prayed the prayers, recited the lines, and believed the promise. So can I get a hint of whatheactualfuckisgoingonhere?!

but all I can count on from you is radio silence.

So I will keep my ashy, bleeding hands folded, and keep waiting for that ever-elusive voice of yours to remind me of why we all started this in the first place. It certainly can't get any worse, can it?

Ever Faithfully Yours,

Broken.