Of course I miss you

Not again, we swore this time

And the one before

Enough is enough

I need you off my mind

I grab a slice of pizza, and force it down

Focus on the taste, you used to love the taste

Swallow slowly, like the pride you once had

Swallow quickly, like the sorry's you said you were

Stop thinking about him again, maybe write a letter?

A letter is too wordy, lets go back to poetry

The smile that you'd get, when you first saw my face

Why were you so nervous, out of character for you

Fidgety as you reached out for the dog

‘He misses you', you'd tell me

Biting your lips down, so you wouldn't miss me too

I had to burn it down, whatever bridge was forming

We said no more, too much water between us

Rivers, really, between the past and now

Too much resentment, maybe hatred

Between me and your family

Too much fear between us, both always end up burning

My words, they seem to hurt you

Your silence always kills me

And you always, always seem to leave me

You said, you said

You said

Always focused on what you said

The sweetness in your words

Always comforting all my shaking

But I know damn well, they never held their weight

So heavy, all that's left unspoken

And all of this deep longing

That always finds my poetry

Is this the reason that I push you?

Or in your words--chase you

But when I'm writing, or even laying still

I see your eyes, looking back at me

I see your smile, there because of me

I feel my heart fill with your name, as my lips begin to move

I call out for your name, but your number's blocked again

So I allow myself to feel you

And everything your absence brings

The tears, the laughter--all my crazy

The reasons why you stay away

The reason your parents told you, it will never work again

But did it ever?

Work, I mean

Did we ever, truly... work?

All I know for certain, is that I love you

Even if I don't know how, to love you as you'd accept it

All I know is I wanna call you, to tell you that I miss you

So instead I wrote more lines

To share my longing with some strangers

I'll take comfort in my words, and things I'll never tell you.