Nuts

One cut two cuts

I chop cashew nuts

almonds and sultanas.

Let’s practise with bananas.

Fruit chopping is great.

Fruit stays on the plate,

but nuts cause alarm as

they don’t act like bananas.

Your nuts defy gravity;

fly off with depravity.

You waste as you slice;

making picnics for mice.

Is internal stress popping

from the shock of the chopping?

No: forget the “why” and the “how,”

I want an answer, and now!

The solution is honey.

(the stiff kind or runny)

Smear the blade in some measure;

now nut-chopping’s a pleasure.

---

Previously published in my book "Life Hacks - the essential collection"

Poem and illustrations - copyright Nick James (me!)