notes

i offer

unfinished thoughts

from brain to screen, saved

for a rainy day.

conversations to remember,

lists,

things to write, buy, say, do,

131 in total.

i picked a few for you to see.

without further ado,

a rambling, a mix, an offering, and a view of my favorites. what made

sense in the moment, but now? maybe not.

i tried to string them into new sense, or at the very least, themes. either way, it is a sort of story of me.

***

"painting grays out here"

"with quiet voice and quiet body,"

"begging to be present."

"it's 'she' from blood, 'they' from family, and 'he' from strangers."

"i come from boot lickin' and cow tippin',"

"curls poofed in front, and there, just a platter for him."

"800,000 olive trees destroyed,"

"and there ain't no god. that ain't it. that ain't it. if there was a god, he'd be helping me out right now. phony as a two-dolla bill."

"BLACK PEPPER"

"2 GOSE"

"MINCED CHICKEN"

"2 PACK OF PACIFIERS"

"REMEMBER SANDEEP."

"their politeness matched only by the crassness of their beliefs,"

"while i reek of hangover and try to pass off vomiting as anxiety about flying."

"a soft-bodied thinker,"

"thinking about the woman i didn't stop to help."

"objects at rest:

'she opened her eyes as she exhaled, waiting for the next direction after the sound of the woodenfish.'

the required force of another person to get mOVing again... stuck in one place until acted on by another.

never breaking up with someone,

never asking anyone out.

like much of my life, it happens at the discretion of others. i see two options:

learn to take control of decisions and experiences. alternatively,

never learn and remain static.

let others act upon me until the goddamn day i die."

"st. vituses dance."

"don't fuck the olive branch."

"i have grateful hips,"

"so let me work the sleep from your bones, and open your eyes with my lips.

where may i touch to best feel you and have you relate to me?"

"pleurisy feels better than sobriety."

"smokin' my way through college,"

"learning useful things that keep me aware, that expand my humanity, but i'm a writer at heart,

and all i need to do is that. write."

***

if you stuck with me this long, i appreciate it. here's a virtual hug... it's what i've got to give. i've been struggling to find inspiration lately, not necessarily to write... but just to write something i like...things feel bare. i figured i'd read through my notes app and see what treasures i hid away for a later date. i've decided i might use some of these as prompts, so look for them in the coming days and weeks–little pieces based on these nascent ideas.