Not Suicide

I place the killer between my lips

And light it up.

I take my time

Breathing in the poison

Careless of the damage it will cause.

The night is dark

And the moon is hiding

Amongst the clouds;

I walk down the middle

Of an empty highway.

Secretly wishing a drunk driver

Would sneak upon me.

But no one comes,

I am alone

I hear nothing but a sad tune

I've had stuck in my head for days.

The lyrics I constantly ponder of

Turn into a repeated hum,

"Can I still get into heaven

If I kill myself?"

I wonder

But for now,

I'll just hope something else

Kills me first

This cigarette, or a drunk driver

Anything but myself.